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16 times Norfolk was the butt of jokes

PUBLISHED: 15:00 04 February 2016 | UPDATED: 08:00 05 February 2016

Just some of the people who have made jokes about Norfolk.

Just some of the people who have made jokes about Norfolk.

Archant

BBC Norfolk presenter and EDP columnist Nick Conrad pointed out in yesterday’s column that Norfolk was always the butt of jokes - he’s right...

• “Alex Salmond will be made First Minister for Norwich, so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like.” (Al Murray)

• “A burglary was recently committed at Norwich City’s ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a yellow and green carpet.”

• “Keep Britain Tidy – chop off Norfolk and Cornwall!” (Milton Jones)

• “Apparently, Delia Smith offered to send the Norwich squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida, but they said they’d rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it’s like to ride on an open-top bus.”

• “If you tell a girl you like her but she says, “I love you more like a brother”, suggest a weekend in Norfolk. Unless you’re from Norfolk, in which case it probably is your sister.” (Jimmy Carr)

• “The FA had to step in to prevent Norwich’s latest sponsorship deal. They signed a mega new contract with the pet-food firm ‘Spillers’. An FA spokesman said that it would be fraud to have Norwich players with “Winnalot” on their shirts!”

• “No more chestnut trees lining the streets of Norwich, in case the conkers fall on your head - as if that would make a difference, in Norfolk.” (Anne Atkins)

• “I went to see the model village today in Great Yarmouth, but it was closed. Oh well, back to the big society.”

• “Jill, what do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich town centre? I’ll be honest I’m dead against it. People forget that traders need access to Dixons!” (Alan Patridge)

• “Everybody’s second team is Norwich because they play such entertaining football.” (Hugh Jackman)

• “Did you hear about the new Norwich City bra? Lots of support but no cups.”

• “I am used to having people point as I go by. Most shout, “Hey, look, it’s a Cosworth!” but in Norfolk they shout, “Hey, look, it’s a car!” (Jeremy Clarkson)

• “A parrot that cries whenever Norwich City loses. When a friend of the parrot’s owner asks what happens when Norwich win the owner says: “I don’t know, I’ve only had it four years.” (Stephen Fry)

• “A lot of flat landscape, the Wash, reclaimed land - these are things that London doesn’t have and will never have.” (Steve Coogan)

• “Question Time, tonight we’re in Norwich, let’s say hello to the audience. Look, men from magic picture box go speaky speaky.” (Frankie Boyle)

• “Why do NASA send all their astronauts to King’s Lynn for training? Its the only place in the world devoid of atmosphere!”

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