We continue our series of articles commemorating the 220th anniversary of the death of Lord Nelson with the story of the women in Nelson’s life. Historian Lt Col Ray Aldis investigates how Nelson was not only influenced by the women he met but how his relationships with them, particularly that with Emma Hamilton, affected the way in which he was perceived by the public. To some he was a hero but to many he was a cad.
The first matter that has to be addressed is was Nelson really a hero?.
Well, the short answer to that has to be yes.
We only have to look around us, 220 years after his death, and we see the evidence.
The memorials, the streets, the pubs, all bearing either his name or those of his great victories of the Nile, Copenhagen and Trafalgar.
So, undoubtedly a hero, but why a cad?
It is undeniable that Nelson had a very public affair with Emma Hamilton and treated his loyal and loving wife shamefully.
Ipso facto: he was a Cad!
But can it really be that simple? As any psychologist worth their salt would say let’s go back to his childhood.
It should come as no surprise that the first love of Nelson’s life, in the purest sense, was his mother Catherine.
Before long she was giving birth to the first of 11 children, eight of whom survived infancy.
Of the surviving children Horatio, born in 1758, was the fourth oldest and the family lived happily, if modestly, in the Rectory at Burnham Thorpe. Then, in 1767, soon after Catherine gave birth for the 11th time, tragedy struck.
Catherine was taken ill, developed pneumonia and died.
One can only imagine the impact on the nine-year-old Horatio.
He idolised his mother and must have been devastated.
To add to his misery at this traumatic time he was packed off to boarding school.
Firstly, to Norwich School and then on to Paston School in North Walsham. Horatio was never particularly happy at school and by the time he was 12 he was begging his father to let him join his mother’s brother in the Navy. Fortunately for the Nation, Captain Suckling agreed to his brother-in-law’s request.
Once at sea Horatio’s progress was rapid and by the time he was 20 he was a captain.
Up to this point history does not record any hint of romance in the life of this promising young man.
Then, in September 1782, the 24-year-old Nelson sailed into Quebec harbour and for the first time it is revealed that he is not only interested in women, but very much wore his heart on his sleeve.
Quebec was a thriving outpost of the Empire, with a lively social scene.
The young Captain Nelson leapt in with both feet!
One of the belles of seemingly every dance and soiree was a captivating young lady called Mary Simpson.
Within a very short time Nelson was infatuated. So much so that he planned to abandon his career in order to stay in Quebec and marry his heart’s desire.
Fortunately for Nelson, and indeed for the Nation, a friend persuaded him not to be a fool and packed him off back to his ship where he was under orders to sail.
So here we have the young Nelson desperately seeking a woman’s love, something he had not had since his mother had died.
He decided to take the opportunity to go to France in an attempt to learn the language.
He ended up in St Omer and shortly after his arrival met up with a young English woman called Elizabeth Andrews.
In no time he was once again in love. At this time Nelson received news that his younger sister Anne had died after a short illness.
Elizabeth was very kind to him and offered her sympathy. Nelson misread the signals and thought this meant she was in love with him. Elizabeth guessed where the relationship was leading and knew her feelings were not the same as his.
She did, however, let him down gently. Once again Nelson’s quest for a wife had failed and he was still very much the lovelorn bachelor.
In March 1784 Nelson was ordered to the West Indies. On arrival he was sent off to patrol the Leeward Islands, with English Harbour, Antigua, as his base.
At English Harbour the Admiralty’s Commissioner for the Dockyard was a retired captain called John Moutray.
The elderly captain and his beautiful wife Mary, almost 30 years his junior, lived in a very pleasant house overlooking the harbour. Nelson fell head over heels in love once again.
He hung around Mary like a lost puppy, however, history does not reveal that any impropriety took place. Mary undoubtedly enjoyed the attention shown by this young admirer but was careful to preserve her reputation.
Some nine months after Nelson’s arrival, Captain Moutray became ill and he and his wife had to return to England. Nelson was heartbroken. The poor man so desperately wanted love, but he really was quite clueless.
Nelson’s duty in the Leeward Islands required him to visit the island of Nevis and on one such visit he happened to meet the President’s niece Frances (Fanny) Nisbet.
Fanny was about the same age as Nelson but already a widow and had a young son called Josiah.
Within weeks of meeting Fanny, Nelson was in love once more, but the difference this time was that his feelings were reciprocated. Nelson proposed and to his relief Fanny said yes.
Poor Fanny, unused to the bitter cold Norfolk winters, had an awful time of it. To add to the couple’s misery, other than young Josiah, no further children came along.
After five long years of unemployment war with France was once again imminent and to Nelson’s joy he was offered a ship. War was declared on 1st February 1793 and Nelson was ordered to set sail for the Mediterranean. Adding to Fanny’s distress at being left behind, Nelson had taken the 12 year old Josiah with him to begin his career in the Navy.
Months passed and Fanny received only occasional letters from Nelson which, other than giving her the news that her husband and son were well, did little to cheer her up.
The truth was that Nelson was now happily back at sea, the place he loved to be and definitely preferred to being back home with the cold and complaining Fanny. Nelson’s duties took him
to Naples where he met the British Envoy, Sir William Hamilton. He was only in Naples for a short time but long enough to notice Sir William’s much younger, very beautiful and extremely buxom wife. It would be four years before their paths would cross again.
There is a saying in the Navy which goes ‘Wedding rings off at Gibraltar’. This saying was obviously already around in Nelson’s time and when he met up with an exotic Italian opera singer named Adelaide Correglia, it was not long before he took advantage of the situation. Despite some disgust amongst Nelson’s brother officers, no word got back to Fanny. This dalliance does, however, give the first clear indication that all was not well between Nelson and his wife.
By 1797, after four years at sea without home leave, Nelson had reached the rank of rear admiral and had been given a knighthood for his action at the battle of Cape St Vincent.
Whilst Nelson craved praise and admiration from his partner, he was instead firmly scolded by Fanny who told him that as a senior officer he should not still be boarding enemy ships. She really didn’t understand the needs of her man. His mother would have patted him on the head and told him what a brave boy he was!
In 1798 Nelson was ordered to locate and destroy the French fleet in the Mediterranean. Nelson caught up with them off Egypt and annihilated them. Nursing a severe injury to the head that he had received during the battle, Nelson limped back to Naples in his badly damaged ship.
To greet him on arrival was none other than the beautiful and ever more buxom Emma Hamilton. The swooning Emma quite literally swept up the wounded admiral and took him home to her palazzo in order to nurse him back to health. Now this was how to treat a hero! Nelson of course was smitten, but who was this woman?
She was a real beauty and was taken up as a mistress by one wealthy man about town after another, even having a child by one of them. The artist Romney became obsessed with her, producing portrait after portrait.
One of her lovers, Charles Greville, happened to be the nephew of Sir William Hamilton, the British ambassador in Naples. When the young man tired of Emma he basically offered her to his recently widowed uncle.
Sir William, on a visit to London, met Emma, liked what he saw and despite the 34-year age gap agreed to take her off his nephew’s hands. Being old school, the ambassador was not happy with just having a mistress, so did the decent thing and married her. Little Amy Lyon, the poor girl from the Wirral, became Emma Lady Hamilton, the toast of Naples.
In Naples and cocooned by Emma’s devotion, Nelson was soon hopelessly in love. Emma treated him as the conquering hero, worshipping the ground he walked on. She was beautiful, fun and sexy, everything that the stiff and proper Fanny back home was not. It was not long before the couple became intimate.
This time, however, Nelson’s behaviour was to get him into trouble. The news reached both the Admiralty and Fanny, and Nelson was ordered home. Sir William was also recalled and
the odd party travelled back across Europe together, Emma pregnant with Nelson’s child. Fanny was staying in London when the party arrived.
It is difficult to believe that Nelson could be so naïve as to think Fanny would accept his pregnant mistress, but he was so besotted that all sense seemed to have left him.
Within days Fanny issued him a ‘her or me’ ultimatum and Nelson opted for Emma. Nelson bought a house in Merton, on the edge of London, and set up home with the Hamiltons. On the January 29, 1801 Emma gave birth to a daughter, Horatia, making Nelson happier than he thought possible.
So, how do we sum up Nelson, hero or cad? As illustrated at the beginning, the fact that he was a hero is really not a matter for dispute. However, his treatment of Fanny is not easily excused. Yet, if there is no excuse, perhaps we can now see a reason.
Having lost his mother at nine years old this small boy from Norfolk spent the rest of his life desperately seeking a replacement for her, finally finding his ideal in Emma who smothered him with the love and affection he always craved. Perhaps in conclusion it should be said: Nelson, hero and cad.
Did you know: Nelson’s daughter Horatia married Norfolk vicar Rev Philip Ward. There is a memorial stone for Philip and Horatia on the floor of the chancel at St Botolph church, Trunch, Norfolk. [Author: Lt Col Ray Aldis, Historian of The Nelson Society, is a retired Army officer. He was born in Norfolk and educated at the Hewett Grammar School, Norwich, prior to attending the Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst.
The Nelson Society, founded in 1981 at the Norfolk Club in Norwich, is a registered charity whose object is to raise public awareness of the life and times of Admiral Lord Nelson and his navy. Membership is open to all with an interest in this subject. New members welcome. More information can be found on the Society’s website at www.nelson-society.com
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